Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
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Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
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tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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