you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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