I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Boobs speak an international language.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
