i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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