So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize