8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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