I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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