We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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