matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You did what with his pubic hair?
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