It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize