Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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