I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
