If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
