Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
