What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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