she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize