make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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