when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
All I want is dick and wine.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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