North Korea, Best Korea!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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