i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
