just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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