just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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