we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
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EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
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