HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
