Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
