I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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