I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
