I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
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I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
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He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
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