How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
