I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
