FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
