i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
