YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
