Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
