i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
