My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
And the cops told us we were all naked.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
