So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
