saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
