then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
