In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
