All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
