you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
