Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize