how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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