Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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