As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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