In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
bring money and cleavage
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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