Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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