Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize