I will die if light touches me.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I party with great urgency now.
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