Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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