Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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