I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
