my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She bit a glass in half.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
