Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
