Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
