Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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