you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
