Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
