Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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