he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
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I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
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Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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