any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
