Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
