I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
