We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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